Dealing with Dementia: Maties student opens up about her father’s illness

In 2014, 21-year old drama student, Justine Rubesch’s life was changed forever. She was in grade 10. Her father, Mike Rubesch, who was 57-years old at the time, was diagnosed with Corticobasal degeneration. Otherwise known as early onset dementia. Now, in the final year of her undergraduate degree, she is finally ready to put her father’s story to stage.

Justine pushed her father away in her high school years, only fully grasping the magnitude of his illness once she left for her first year at Stellenbosch University. She remembers being away for extended periods of time, coming home and only then noticing her father’s deterioration. “When you live with someone you let things pass, you know they’re there, you don’t really take note of the small things,” says Justine.

LEFT: A portrait with baby Justine, her mother (Jeanne) and her father (Mike). RIGHT: Tora Turner (as Mom), Justine (as herself) and Renier Stoop (as Dad). PHOTOS: Supplied.

“I think that our family in general is quite strong… all three of our children have handled it differently,” says Justine’s mother, Jeanne Rubesch, who met Mike in 1992. She went on: “My special needs son (19) seems to have a deep and mature understanding of his dad’s illness and I do believe it hasn’t affected him badly. My youngest son (13) has struggled the most and continues to struggle.” Her eldest son suffers from Mosaic Down syndrome.

Mike had been showing signs for two years before his official diagnosis: visual spatial difficulties, problems dressing, a car accident en-route to school in their hometown of Hermanus. Justine was in her second year when her father was put on anti-psychotics and sedatives, thereafter his state became vegetative.

The name of the play, Hexagon, refers to her father’s passion for soccer. Before his dementia set in, Mike was a professional soccer coach at Emory University. The hexagon is also the shape of a bee’s honeycomb pointing to coherence, stability and nature – “It’s quite ironic because that’s all the things that he’s lost. He’s no longer coherent, there is no more stability in his life, he can’t work anymore,” says Justine.

Mike and Jeanne Rubesch. PHOTO: Supplied.

In October 2018, Justine’s father was temporarily put into a home, while Jeanne and Justine’s younger brothers went to the US to attend Mike’s induction into the Emory University Sports Hall of Fame. Justine had academic obligations that did not allow her to join. When they returned, the home suggested to the family that Mike stay permanently.

Hexagon will open Première Fees at 18h00 on 22nd July 2019 at the Adam Small Theatre in Stellenbosch. Tickets are R65 and can be purchased on Quicket. The ticket will allow you to see Hexagon and two other shows on the evening (Immerlig and Pillow T@lk). Justine plays herself and her parents are played by drama students, Tora Turner (as Mom) and Renier Stoop (as Dad). Renier comments on the experience of meeting Mike while preparing for his role: “It’s surreal to know you’re doing something based on someone’s life and that that person is still there.” The play is directed by Amé Reinke, choreographed by Jaime Montgomery and Ayden Kruger is stage manager.

https://youtu.be/VF3DuRiFBIk

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